Trust .

Hello fellow readers, I have been away for a while but that is because nothing of importance has come about. Until now.

I have finally started to come out of my comfort zone and began to talk to other people. I once believed in love at first sight, how cliché, until many years ago too many people have hurt me and betrayed my friendship and so my lack of trust in people plummeted to rock bottom. Lately I have, admittedly, fallen in love with another but has been deceived. This has shattered my trust in people as a whole again because to me, if you truly respect somebody you wouldn't try to hurt them in any way. I had been speaking to this person for a while now until today. My old saying was "Don't depend on anyone in this world because even your shadow leaves you in the darkness" and stupidly I ignored this and thought I knew this person extremely well... but apparently not.

Who else has felt such great pain after being deceived? Who else felt betrayed and thought nobody on this planet was trust worthy? well today, that is me.

 I try not to trust too much, to love too much or even hope too much because that "too much" can hurt you so much. Even Snow White put too much trust in others and look what happened to her. I know it is only a story, a fairytale, but it taught me so much and that is to not put my trust on anyone but only to trust in myself. Trust that my actions will have positive consequences that I will be truly grateful for. But until then I cannot trust another soul.

Sorry to be the bearer of such a low and negative post but I felt it was something I needed to openly admit and express through words. I hope none of you fellow readers will betray or get betrayed.

Stay safe.

The Awkward Situation.

Hello lovely readers, I thought I should touch upon something that everybody hates... the awkward situations. The moment you talk to someone you thought was another person you knew but was really a random stranger or when you wave at someone thinking it was your friend. Yeah, that just happened to me!

Walking through Cheltenham town minding my own business and then I thought I saw one of my friends. So as you do you get a bit excited and so you sort of do I quick shuffle over and grab them by the shoulder and scream to make them jump.... to find out it isn't actually the person you thought it was, but was actually a woman -probably late 40s- with her child. You're probably thinking "but if she was with her child how would you have thought it was your friend" well I shall answer that now. The small human was with her, what I guess, was her father and so they came out of the shop whilst I scare her and she screams, I laugh and the father and child stood staring at me like I was mental. She turns around and my face just drops. What have I done! Is all that is going through my head. I go bright red and apologise until I lose oxygen in my lungs and tried to explain why I scared her. 

Thankfully she was very nice about it but I am still shocked.

I thought I woupd share this little mishap I had with a stranger and I hope you never have the same story I just had. Let me know if you have.

Have a great day.

Remedies, Remedies Everywhere!

Hello there lovely readers, so today I thought I would show you some of the natural calming remedies I use for coping with anxiety attacks. All of these remedies are super cheap and certainly effective at keeping you feeling well and fit and ready for the new day ahead. I start my morning with a mug of green tea. I don't usually buy anything special when it comes to green tea because personally it all tastes the same, so I buy Tesco's finest and it is delicious!

When I have finished college or a long day of working on sketchbooks and college work I like to have a small mug of Lemon & Ginger tea from TWININGS. I personally prefer this brand for their lemon and ginger tea because it isn't super strong nor too weak but just right with a nice gentle hint of flavours and not a punch-in-the-face sort of thing. I just particularly love the little spiciness you get from the ginger that warms the back of your throat. In actual fact I am writing this blog with a hot mug of this with a teaspoon and a half of honey mixed in with it just to make it a bit sweeter for my taste and also going to help me prevent a cold. Lovely!

Just before going to bed I like to take a small mug of Calming Camomile from TWININGS. This again isn't too strong nor too weak. Camomile is good because it helps with:

• Insomnia and other sleep disorders
• Anxiety and panic attacks
• Muscle twitches
• Wounds, burns and scrapes
• Skin conditions such as Psoriasis, eczema, chickenpox and diaper rash
• Stomach problems such as menstrual cramps, stomach flu and ulcers

I will agree that it isn't the nicest of tastes but if it keeps me well then I am taking that stuff.

I do not usually have all of these in one day but I will often break it up into certain days I will do this process and then other days I will take Bach's Rescue Remedy, which was suggested by a few of my friends and my lecturer and so I now take this with me wherever I go because you just add a few drops to your drink, or straight but be warned as it tastes very, uhm, floral I guess, and hey presto you have yourself a nice relaxing drink. This will definitely be coming with my to London on Thursday.

Have a great day.

Anxiety!

Hello there lovely readers, I wanted to share with you one of my biggest problems I face right now and that problem is anxiety! If you are not aware what an anxiety is, thanks to Google:

Anxiety (n) 

A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome.

Do not think because you are feeling a bit worried about something, e.g an exam, that it is a severe form of anxiety because what you are feeling is normal and completely relatable.  I wanted to focus on the real anxieties that make a human suffer so much it stops them dead in there tracks and makes them feel like they are going to explode with too many emotions at once. I sadly have to suffer with this mental illness that plagues me from time to time. Nobody truly knows what can trigger an anxiety attack, or most commonly known as a "panic attack", because each anxiety attack is interchangeable and can be triggered from thin air.

Let me put it into perspective. Have you ever felt like it was going to be a superb day and so you are doing your thing and then all of a sudden you start getting slight shakes. You think nothing of it and just carry on. Then you start feeling really hot, and I mean REALLY hot, until your palms get soaked in sweat. You then feel your heart beating so hard in your chest that you end up breathing uncontrollably. You try telling yourself to calm down but it just seems to get worse the more you reject it. You feel completely paralysed, dead in your tracks, and you try to let out a noise but nothing seems to come out but gasps of air and tears. When you finally catch your breath you get a tingling feeling move over your body like a heavy cloud and you just scream, nothing else but tears and screams. You are in trauma.

Lightening the mood now, once you are over the anxiety attack you will always wonder what could have brought it on but you carry on with your day, still shaking, but carrying on.

If you have ever felt like this then I understand what you are going through and I was told today that it does get better even if you think it couldn't possibly get better. If you do have an anxiety attack do not keep it to yourself but go tell someone you can trust as it does help a million to not be so ashamed of having one.

Have a great day.

Dreams and Ambitions.

Hello there fellow readers, throughout my life so far I have had many dreams and aspirations which sometimes were just plain out of reach. But then I asked myself is it really out of reach or am I just reluctant to put in the effort to take the long road ahead. Ever since I started getting into Fashion all I have been thinking of is "will I get to a stage where I'll just give up?" And the answer to that is probably yes and do you want to know why? It is because everybody gets to a point in there life where they feel like giving up but you know what, I am not going to give up. I will get up off the floor and carry on along the long and winding road to success.

My first dream I had that I can remember was that I wanted to become an astronaut until I found out that you had to spend a long time away from home. So that dream went flying out of the window. My next dream was to become a chef, then someone else I knew took my dream for themselves before I took the chance and so I gave up on that... even if I can cook. My next dream was to become a tattoo artist... until I didn't like the idea of tattooing. My last and final dream is to become either a fashion designer or work in fashion magazine editorial. It is hard work so far but I am sure if I work hard but play harder I will have my dream job and you will too if you just crack on with it... or you could just marry someone rich and just do it that way. I am joking of course!

No matter what you want to achieve in life, because it will change,  you should always try your hardest before giving up. Never underestimate your own abilities before taking the leap into the unknown as you will surprise yourself.

Have a great day.

New Beginnings.

It is the start of February and I know it is too late to think of goals for the New Year and I call them goals because resolution. according to a thesaurus, is only a firm decision to do or not to do something whereas a goal is something you strive to achieve and I feel I am more likely to achieve a goal.

Anyway, back to the main focus. I have been thinking negatively about myself for an extremely long time now and I think it is about time that I change that for the better. What I am doing is writing down one negative and one positive thing about me on two separate pieces of paper and then proceeding to burn the negative and keep the positive. At the end of the year I will look back at all the positive things I have wrote, or what has been written to me, and celebrate the new year in happiness and not another pull-my-hair-out situation. 

Another thing I want to do for February is update my YouTube channel as I have been too upset over the last video's negativity but I shall try my hardest to post something new once a month to keep my mind busy.

This was a short one for you beautiful readers because it was something I wanted to add before the second of February.

Have a great day.

Favouritism.

Hello there fellow readers of all that is great and wonderful... Don't know what that was, anyway, thought today's blog could be all about things I like? Is that fun? probably not but here we go!

My favourite colour is green but not just any green, oh no, but Islamic green. God I love that colour! 

My favourite location to go on holiday is my home as it has all my comforts and is a place of relaxation in my eyes. 

My favourite musician is Lana Del Rey because she is Queen and Lord of all Creation. 

My favourite food is banana pancakes and drink wise has to be Raspberry and Pomegranate from Marks and Sparks (M&S) for all of you who don't know my lingo. 

My favourite activity is going for really long walks in the countryside because you get the scenery, the smells and you free your mind from all problems. 

My favourite sports team is Arizona Cardinals in NFL and my favourite player is Larry Fitzgerald because he is always smiling and just looks super happy all the time. 

My favourite season is Spring because it is my birthday (3 April) but also when it isn't too hot nor too cold but a major contributor is the fact that life comes back to the world. 

One thing I would love to do is travel around the world but do challenges in the different countries, kinda like The Amazing Race. 

My favourite quote is from the wonderful Karl Lagerfeld and that is;

"Trendy is the last stage before tacky."

I just love this quote because it stops me saying the word 'trendy'.

I think I have covered most areas of things I like and so I shall love you and leave you, fellow readers.

Have a great day.